inside the head of hard core rescue

we aren't normal.
we don't think like the majority of even animal loving people let alone non animal loving folks.

and it's not that we're broken or crazy (altho some are broken and crazy) hmmm(and sometimes even the non broken or non crazy might be broken and/or crazy for brief periods)...it is a challenging life.

but in any case we are different. unlike most people...we don't get an animal, give it a loving and responsible home. we give them our life..past, present and future. most of us have chosen to fulfill the needs of the animals over the needs of our spouse, and unless we partner with another hard core rescuer...our marriages obviously don't last. we give up the comfort of soft and pretty for more practical sturdy things. we don't in a quiet moment after a hard work week...sit out on the sundeck with a chilled glass of wine and watch the sun set or a sip a cup of expresso and soak in the beauty of a magical sunrise. we don't go to parties or out to movies, we don't go to the beach, go on a hike with friends, we don't share recipes, work out at the gym, or invite friends over for dinner.

do you understand this...we don't live normal everyday human things? we live a daily conglomeration of needful animal things. most of us are deeply in debt, most of us have squandered our futures for societies discarded pets.

and honestly..the ability to do this truly is a gift. maybe we can't make beautiful music or stir a soul with dance or paint a masterpiece....we use our gift of giving to give some hard up animals a second chance.

and there is a cost.

we are not normal.
we don't think like everyone else.
we can't think like other people because our priorities, terms of reference and daily life experiences are different.
combine that with our own innate human flaws...and it occasionally becomes a problem.

here is a truth about rescuers...we are distrustful, we are afraid.
and we are not just afraid of others...we are afraid of ourselves as well...and we are afraid of life. life has a really bad habit of implementing murphy's law in animal' lives.
i don't think it is possible to take everything you possibly have and everything you can possibly be and put it on the line...every single day and not be a bit screwy.
to take that level of risk..that fear that you might make a mistake...and shoulder the deep regret when you do.
i am telling you...somedays, your rational thinking part is totally screwed.

we see danger around every corner, ripples in every pond...we see our own failures and short comings lit up in lights..
and still we get up every morning and do this...

maybe we are fucking nutz.

brain fart...who was it that cut off his ear? was it mozart?

(whatever...someone with some kind of gift was so messed up, he cut off his ear)...
luckily i still have both my ears..not that i hear so well anymore...too many years of noisy dogs.