cheyenne passed very peacefully away at home today.
if i am to be honest, i have to say i am relieved. i have been questioning her quality of life for quite a while. i think i felt we should have let her go back when she was bleeding so badly.
i was fully expecting a diagnosis of bladder cancer and was taken back when that was not found with her ultrasound. i thought ok, a bladder infection, even a really bad one, we can deal with that. but i did not take into account what all of that blood loss and the stubbornness of the infection itself would mean to her in the long term. and it basically meant that she de-compensated and lost the physical strength that she needed to live life fairly well.
cheyenne was totally unaware that anything bad or scary was happening. the vet came and gave her some sedation that immediately put her right to sleep. we sat with her and petted her and chatted about various things. and i think as she fell asleep, she was comforted in the every day sounds of "normal-ness" surrounding her.
we are all going to miss her. her little paralyzed dog corner feels empty and barren now.
but i truly believe that we actually set her free of that weakened and crippled body that frustrated her so.
i am sorry if i should have made this decision sooner, and i hope her incredible and indomitable spirit is soaring free now.