Rescue Journal

ok so i haven't been blogging much...

Carol  ·  Feb. 27, 2017

but honestly..between work and saints..life just gets so much more complicated.
i wish for the good ole days..like when we sat around the fire and lived in simple caves!

i have hit this odd spot in living..minus the angst, minus the drama..
but also minus that (occasionally unbalanced) spark.
i am getting older..now it is just one foot in front of the other.
see the purpose, find the point, and get it done...then move on to the next important thing.

and i find i don't really want to talk about it that much anymore, i don't find it all that exciting...i just want to get whatever it is done and keep forward moving.

so here is the thing...
i thought maybe i was finally reaching burn out.
except i don't feel burnt out.
i am not sad. i am not resentful, i am not angry AND i haven't gone crazy!
i am kind of tired but i do work 2 full time jobs. so that is to be expected and i don't sleep very well, but that's nothing new either.
i bet i sleep better than most (or all) people could who live in a full animal rescue.

i think maybe, i am just more accepting of the challenges in living any life but especially a rescue life.
not much surprises me, i have experienced more "alternative" realities than i originally thought possible when i was a naive and innocent newbie.

wanna know what i learned?
its all weird..life, animals, people, relationships, hopes, dreams, passions, fate, expectations and beliefs.

it is a universe of oddness that defies definition, categorization, it is a universe without a dewey decimal system to organize it into any sense.

so what are you left with at the end of it?
just a few basics....like...

acceptence. and a few good things to keeping working at...

learning to be patient.
trying hard to be respectful and kind in this journey of life.
helping others as often as i can while i am able.
and yes....i will keep striving to remain somewhat hopeful, (but maybe just not hold my breath) because life has a habit of just being life.

Comments

Willie C

I'm 66 and know what you are talking about too. I do believe that goodness and kindness move the planet a tiny bit more to the 'light'. But the important stuff - life and death/pain and suffering - we can only keep trying. Right now, I am struggling with just understanding that the basic truths I grew up knowing, many suddenly are no longer true - were they ever true? Some days, it's hard to not be knocked flat down!

Penny

Love this post Carol. At my age (and I'm quite a bit older than you), I do understand where you're coming from (not that I work now, or run an animal rescue). But after a while, there's not much in life that surprises you anymore and you reach a state of resigned acceptance. You can stand back and watch all the craziness going on, as if it's a movie playing out. What's that very old saying "There's nothing new under the sun"? I've been young and out to change the world once, just don't have the energy or initiative anymore. Not sure if this is a good or bad thing, but it's interesting to sit back and watch the young people trying to meet the challenges. Good luck to them, they'll need it, it's a tough world. I make my contributions in small ways now, as you said.