but honestly..between work and saints..life just gets so much more complicated.
i wish for the good ole days..like when we sat around the fire and lived in simple caves!
i have hit this odd spot in living..minus the angst, minus the drama..
but also minus that (occasionally unbalanced) spark.
i am getting older..now it is just one foot in front of the other.
see the purpose, find the point, and get it done...then move on to the next important thing.
and i find i don't really want to talk about it that much anymore, i don't find it all that exciting...i just want to get whatever it is done and keep forward moving.
so here is the thing...
i thought maybe i was finally reaching burn out.
except i don't feel burnt out.
i am not sad. i am not resentful, i am not angry AND i haven't gone crazy!
i am kind of tired but i do work 2 full time jobs. so that is to be expected and i don't sleep very well, but that's nothing new either.
i bet i sleep better than most (or all) people could who live in a full animal rescue.
i think maybe, i am just more accepting of the challenges in living any life but especially a rescue life.
not much surprises me, i have experienced more "alternative" realities than i originally thought possible when i was a naive and innocent newbie.
wanna know what i learned?
its all weird..life, animals, people, relationships, hopes, dreams, passions, fate, expectations and beliefs.
it is a universe of oddness that defies definition, categorization, it is a universe without a dewey decimal system to organize it into any sense.
so what are you left with at the end of it?
just a few basics....like...
acceptence. and a few good things to keeping working at...
learning to be patient.
trying hard to be respectful and kind in this journey of life.
helping others as often as i can while i am able.
and yes....i will keep striving to remain somewhat hopeful, (but maybe just not hold my breath) because life has a habit of just being life.
I'm 66 and know what you are talking about too. I do believe that goodness and kindness move the planet a tiny bit more to the 'light'. But the important stuff - life and death/pain and suffering - we can only keep trying. Right now, I am struggling with just understanding that the basic truths I grew up knowing, many suddenly are no longer true - were they ever true? Some days, it's hard to not be knocked flat down!