good advice kerry and lynne...

i need to leave this alone and move on.

rescue is conflicted in that it really does require an ability to balance an almost childish adoration and faith in the innocent purity of all living things and the all too reality that all living things can be irrepairably broken by life's sometimes dark and painful happenings.
the child cries out against the unfairness of reality.

i remember hearing..reading... something, somewhere...about how the sparrow (?) never cries out as it falls frozen from the branch..or something like that.

animals are much better at accepting the inevitable times of hardship, the sometimes grossly unfairness of life....i can't seem to grow up enough to suck it up without crying out.

i will work on it.

daisy wasn't safe...and neither are a bunch of others here. i think what happens is...
i can accept their sometimes twisted imperfections, i can love them and give them a home.
and as long as a certain line isn't crossed, i try not to rock my imaginary love boat.

i do not believe in a shelter setting that no kill is possible.
i don't believe it is practical or responsible and i really do believe that sometimes no kill is not only dangerous...it is also unkind.

20 years ago when i was just starting to get heavy into rescue i watched duke the broken rottweiler who attacked me badly, led away on a catch pole to the gas chamber.
a lot of things came out of that attack...besides the physical things...guilt that it could have been one of my young children, guilt that i hadn't seen it coming, and a life long horror that i let that poor dog die the way he did.

we are all the sum of our life long experiences....duke, daisy and me.....and all other living beings.

updates...
charlotte had a vet visit and he once again had to lance her chronically infected toe.
raven sustained an unknown injury to his hock..it is swollen and a little bit sore. he is on anti inflammatories and cold hosing for now.
joy's skin issues are continuing, the vets don't think we can do much about it but we will continue to try.
bear is still in a holding pattern, i am too bruised to make a responsible decision about him. for now he and others are safe and i am really hoping it stays that way.
luna goes into the vets today to remove her sutures and drains.
one of the baby bunnies sustained a skin tear somehow, somewhere...it is going to need the wound edges trimmed up so he too goes into the vets today.
enok has been escalating in food guarding..i am not happy about this and it is making me nervous. yesterday he got vinnies ear all soggy with saliva and bits of food but there were no puncture wounds.
last night i went over the dog yard with a fine tooth comb..i didn't find anything else hidden in there so that is good.
zander seems to be a bit more lethargic, and peeing a bit more than he was. i think his diabetes is still a serious problem.
oreo is actually perking up and feeling a bit better. we just added some pepcid and gravol in case it was a GI upset that was making him feel unwell.
i am getting worried about hyde..he has really bad diarrhea..probably stress and diet change. but he is old and frail so i am worried about dehydration. we have started him on a gastro diet and flagyl...hopefully it helps.
patches is starting to wander around the kitchen..she really seems to like her move from the rabbit area to the house. i thought it might be too much for her but apparently not.
we are finally starting to make some visible progress in organizing the shop...still a very long way to go but it feels good to be longer be moving backwards or sideways but actually forward now.

i think that is all of the current news.