the ebb and flow

i hung daisy, june and buddy's wind chimes tonight...still sad about their losses. but sadder still because there are more to come.

hyde is not well..soon we will have to admit defeat. we are trying one more kick at the can but it is not really working. i am going to have to make an unhappy decision pretty soon.

joy has been having some really difficult days, she has been down several times and needed steroid injections and massive cool downs to get her back up on her feet. she is having trouble breathing and is really weak. the blood work came back this morning, she is in heart failure. steroids and cold wet towels are not going to cure this. they are a temporary solution that only work for a single day and then once the effects wear off, she is down again. there really are no medical treatments for heart failure in cows..most cows don't get the chance to live long enough for their hearts to give out. and that's pretty damn sad too.
both she and emily know that she is not well, tonight they are head snuggling and licking each other...it is heart wrenching knowing they love each other so...joy's loss is really going to upset em.

edith is very ill. she spent yesterday at the vets, came home last night and was back in again this morning. i brought her home again tonight because there wasn't anyone to watch her in the vets overnight. unless she makes a dramatic recovery, she will have to go back in tomorrow morning. i am thinking that whatever her blood work shows, it is not going to be good. my gut says this is a life threatening event and that is going to fucking suck.

i am telling you...heart break and loss sucks.
but to not to have known and loved these guys...now that would have been a terrible loss in all of our lives.

just need to keep my eye on the ball...all of them will eventually die, the goal tho is to ensure until then, they feel like life was really good.

ah fuck. i forgot to buy milk again for the third day in a row. it is not a big deal but it bugs me that i can't remember something so simple.

even on crappy days, there is always something good....

thank you to everyone who works so very hard here...we truly are grateful. from just today i see treats new single bunny pen is done, and the wood pile has been stacked neatly and tarped, and rumor has it arnie has been busy scrubbing down the shop bathroom among other stuff plus with everyone's combined efforts...all of the animals look perfectly comfortable and content.

pixie is home from emergency and is feeling a whole lot better...good enough to be a biting hag while at the clinic. apparently once she was feeling better she turned into a don't bug me beast! a bunch of really kind folks from facebook donated to help with her and joys vet bills..i think sheila said $1500 came in. in this really lean donation season, this helps us try to meet some of the mountains of bills.
my sister and her family were here for the airshow and i was able to squeeze in a sushi dinner with them last night after work...maybe it was only for an hour or so but it was so great to see them all, a loving family is a wonderful gift.

and finally...i am glad the smokey haze is clearing, it was bugging my asthma so the fresher air feels REALLY good.

we are blessed...even on the sad days...we are surrounded by a small army of folks who truly care.