Hi my name is Godderick but the folks are here just call me "God" for short. Hehe, it's one step up from a mere Saint! I am a homeless cat and I am an older cat, been around the block a few times or more. They have put me in a waiting cage, they say it is just temporary until I get "tested." I am a pretty smart cat so bring it on, I can ace any IQ test! While I am waiting, the Boss said I could pass the time in any way that I choose so I choose to write to you. I told the staff they could ask me questions and I would answer them, kind of like Dear Abby but actually Dear God...(hehe, I really like the sound of that!)
I was hoping for some good questions like...
Dear God
Why are there so many homeless cats in the world?
and then I could answer....
because people are stupid.
It's true, behind every homeless cat is one or two or five not very bright people!
or...
Dear God
Why do cats have nine lives?
and I could tell them...
It's because people usually screw up the other eight so we deserve at least one that is decent.
but did they ask me good questions?
no.
one wanted to know how to keep toothpaste off her shirt.
and another wanted to know if it was true that every time someone asked a stupid question..did God kill a kitten?
Cripes!!!
I went to the Boss and said, look this ain't gonna work, you folks are insane!!
She said fine, i could have a blog and say whatever i wanted to.
So here I am to provide my perspective on things...while cooling my ass off waiting for an IQ test so I can get out of this freaking cage.
If you have a question, feel free to ask. Kittens will be safe from the dumb ones but I ain't making no promises to humans.
Sincerely
God
Dear Silvia,
Maybe, one day in the future. Right now I just want them to bring on that test they want me to take so I can quit cooling my heels. The folks here aren't very organized, I am sure that test must be in file somewhere around here!!
Sincerely
God