Rescue Journal

so ali sent me a message...

Carol · Oct. 9, 2019

please blog.

so i have been thinking..why is blogging so difficult for me now?
there are literally thousands of blogs here...going back way to the almost beginning. some days i could quickly whip off 2 or 3 in a day without even thinking. its not like that anymore so i was wondering why?

i think it is a bunch of reasons.. one being i am tired. i know i supposedly retired from nursing in May, but even if that officially happened, in reality it didn't. i am working just as much as ever and frankly work has been insane for the past several months.
i also don't have that much to say anymore.

when i first started saints 2 things consumed me..1. was bringing these animals to life. i wanted people to see how utterly interesting each of our crippled crew were..some were amazing, some were down right pain in the asses, but all of them incredibly cool and real personalities and i wanted to share that about them with you. and 2. there was a real purpose in what i was trying to accomplish here. i was not just your average warm and fuzzy crazy cat lady/puppy hugger accumulating animals with gigantic sob stories. the purpose was to acknowledge not only their existence but also their intrinsic value that deserved respectful and intelligent care. i also used this blog as a bit of a sounding/venting board..it was like a mental health release valve...esp on my more crazy days!

i am happy to say...mission accomplished on all three fronts..our staff and volunteers, our supporters, donors, and fans all get it...every single one of these animals are incredibly important. and i have weathered the various storms and am not certifiably insane.

so much of the past blogs were about my own struggles along with the animals struggles too. it is full of sad stories, angry stories, triumphant stories, funny stories and a few oh my fucking god, heart and mind breaking stories too.

the things i am struggling with now in comparison are mind blowing boring. i am focussed on preparing for saints future which means getting all of our miniscule and yet frustratingly many, ducks in a row. and while this part of my responsibility to saints is critical (and fucking mind boggling)...it actually bores me to tears.
i am also 61 now..i have mellowed emotionally somewhat..altho not everyone would actually agree! but i actually expect shit to go sideways, not too much surprises me anymore..its taken a very, very long time but i finally get it...NOTHING is ever freaking easy.

now i spend a lot of time thinking, planning, plotting,,anticipating problems before they occur. now i can pretty much toss any rock in the pond and predict the ripples fanning out from there to here.

so i know there are still a few folks who like to read this blog, even if few of them ever comment...(hint, hint, ahem.) but i am not sure what i have left to passionately share about...i have probably sprouted off about everything possible over the years. i will try to blog a little bit more often for the few die hards left out there...

maybe when i get back from this trip of a lifetime in a few weeks, i will rediscover the joy in blogging?

photo added for interest (just in case this blog is boring!)
this is mad max..he is an asshole. but he is also adorable and he makes me laugh...i have no idea why why someone has not fallen in love with this tiny tazmanian devil..he had me the very first day.

Comments

Carol Ann Lorraine

thanks I missed the blogs

Marylynn Brown

Have a wonderful trip!! And yesI love your blogs.I am not the only one
to suggest you do a book --- I do comment from time to time.

Liz

Am always happy when you post a blog, insightful, interesting, heartfelt, but do understand that you could just run out of steam, especially with so much still to be done!
Have a wonderful trip full of delight and rejuvenation!

Cricket..a group of us are going on a 11 day African Safaria thru Kenya and Tanzania and then a few days in Amsterdam.

Cricket

I was so excited to see this post from you, Carol!
I’m one of the die-hard blog readers; I’ve been checking it at least twice a day for about 12 years now. I love hearing about all the ups and downs and goings-on, and I’m grateful for all the pieces you’ve written over the years. You have a very unique and important perspective and I love the way you cut through the bullshit and tell it like it is.
I’m sorry you’re still working WAY too much, and I hope this upcoming trip does good things for your writing mojo, but if not, I’ll still follow the blog and Facebook page. I’m a writer too, and when the muse is quiet, nothing flows.
Where do you get to go?!

Rae Killoran

I've missed you Carol ❤❤ so glad to read this

I have always checked "The Blog", sometimes once twice or maybe even three times a day and I have to admit I don't really ever comment. I have always enjoyed your stories about the crippled crew, whether happy or sad, but through your blog post we get to know the animals and what's going on at Saints. That is what I miss. I refreshed my memory and went back to August 2014 archives and those type of posts are what I personally miss. Really happy to see a blog post. Thank you Carol.

Jamie

Count me in with those who check the blog daily. Love learning of all our new souls who now call Saints home before metting them. Thier stories tell us so much. Or learning who may need extra good vibes sent thier way.

Like all the other comments, I love the blog too. Totally understand though when you don't blog. I see blogging as a true form of art and all artists need to " feel" like doing their art. You're an amazing writer and I truly believe one day you will turn the blog into a book. Perhaps even commission someone to take the blog and write about all you've accomplished, imagine your grandchildren or great-grandchildren even great great grandchildren having the opportunity to read your journey in rescue and where it lead you in your own words. What a gift.

Lenore Henry

Great to read your Blog Carol - we have missed it ❤️❤️......

Brenda McCormick

Thank you❤..so glad to see a new post from you Carol. I check the blog daily, and I think you still have lots to share. Whatever and whenever you do, I will be waiting to read it. I love the fb posts too, but the blog is different....a personal, honest glimpse into Saints from your unique perspective..very special.

Helga

As one of the die-hards I say "Thank you". The blog shows the soul of Saints.

Helga

As one of the die-hards let me say "THANK YOU". To me the blog shows the heart and core of Saints. And its really nice to hear what was happening with with the animals in between weekends - especially the ones that are having problems. A week is a long time when you worry.

Wendy Robinson

Among other great topics, I love reading about your first impressions of the new kids who come along.

It helps me out a lot, when I am at SAINTS, to better understand animals that I would normally probably get totally wrong. Like, pigs, horses, turkeys, even bunnies, etc... I don't have a lot of experience with those guys. When I've read one of your blogs about them though, prior to meeting them, I know a little bit of what to expect and - as a result - I feel better prepared to introduce myself to them in a way that doesn't totally offend them (hopefully).

That said, I don't blame you at all for taking breaks from time to time. Grateful for a post now and then though, when you've got one in you.

I've been reading here for seven or eight years, I think. It was actually the post about Sage and Maestro that got me hooked, and was the catalyst for my eventual involvement with SAINTS.

I solemnly promise to comment from now on :D

Ali

Thank you!! 😀😀

shelagh f

thank you, i faithfully look at the blog, i check out facebook about once a week, don't really like it, seems like a waste of time to me. too old , i guess. i enjoy your stories and love to hear about the new guys, and their history. it tells me what is going on at Saints, and it keeps me in the loop. i am reading, and will comment, when appropriate