In the past couple of weeks, the atmosphere at SAINTS Sanctuary has been heavy with grief. Death is a familiar visitor in our world, but sometimes its presence weighs particularly heavily on our hearts. It prompts questions, doubts, and a flood of emotions. Did we do enough? Could we have done things differently? Did they know they were loved during their time with us?
These are the thoughts that haunt us when we lose one of our beloved animals. And the grief that follows is overwhelming. Death is never easy, and it forces us to confront the fragility of life itself.
I vividly remember the drive to the vet for Cory, a dog I had only known for a few short weeks but had formed a connection with. The anxiety gnawed at my stomach as I prepared to say goodbye. Sitting in that quiet room, looking into Cory's eyes, I couldn't help but apologize, even though the decision was warranted. Taking off his collar and hanging it from my rearview mirror was a small gesture, however briefly we knew him.
The numbness that enveloped me on the drive back to SAINTS served as a stark reminder of life's fleeting nature. Cory's time with us was short, but I'd like to believe he found joy in it. His love for runs and his gentle nature left an indelible mark on us all.
Blackie's passing hit us just as hard. Watching her, what felt like a rapid decline, and results from testing we knew a difficult decision lay ahead. This part of our work is tough on everyone, from staff to volunteers to the other animals who sense the loss keenly. The dynamics of the horse herd shifted noticeably after her passing. Animals grieve too, in their own way. We see it in their behavior, in who they seek comfort from, in the subtle shifts within their social groups.
Dixie's increased affection towards Lisa on the day of Blackie's passing was a poignant reminder of the bonds that transcend species.
The picture above, showcasing the animals we've lost since the beginning of the year, tells a story of love, loss, and the emotions that accompany them.
But amidst the grief, we must remember why we're here: to provide sanctuary for senior and special needs animals who need us. We're here for them, to offer love, care, and compassion in their final years, months, weeks and days. And as we navigate the waves of grief together, we find solace in the knowledge that our work matters, that every life we touch leaves an imprint on our hearts.
I am truly sorry for your loss. They all look so very sweet and there's a special spot in my heart for Shelties. I am sure he was loved by all of you.